Grand Canyon Trip Awards Ceremony

Monday, July 16, 2007


Best pre-trip planning and preparation event:


Best practical joke:


Best place to see elk at 4:00am:


Best indoctrination to life on the river:


Winner of the “I can’t believe I made it down Bright Angel Trail” award:


Best hair style for a life on the river:


Best conch blower:


Best imitation of blowing the conch:


Highest rate of words-per-minute:


Leaving the most underwear dangling from a tree:

·        Todd Bohing


Most envied campers by their peers:

·        Chris Krauss and Michael Thomason (for doing the entire canyon trip)


Best place to get your head and shoulders pounded by a waterfall:

·        Tie between Shinumo Falls and Deer Creek Falls


Only guide to attend the same college as my mother:

·        Kelly VanDenBerg (Central College in Pella, Iowa)


Best “I’m OK” signal while drowning:

·        Todd Bohling (on “Butt Sucker” Rapids)


Always the last to eat and the last to finish:

·        Michael Thomason (“Mr. Last Call”)


The “Golden Anvil” award (for heaviest bag):

·        Chris Krauss (who wins the award even after moving half his stuff into his bed bag)


Most well-behaved teenager and best big brother:

·        Max Cavett


Best (i.e, worst) socks:

·        Todd Bohling


Most patient baby sitter:

·        Andria Bohling (for baby sitting both Zack and her father for the entire trip)


Best groover location:

·        Ledges (with the water spray and the sound of trickling water to help with the concentration, which was definitely needed due to the excellent view of the bathing area)


Best place to see the moon come out in the evening:

·        Wherever Joe Paule was bathing (also winner of Most Catcalls)


Best impersonation of a minnow on a slab:

·        Tami Bohling (on the “paddle boat slip ‘n’ slide”)


Only person to earn an ‘F’ in the category of “playing well with others”:

·        Wendy Bohling (for misbehaving in the paddle boat)


Best Dutch last name:

·        VanDenBerg


Best Dutch first name:

·        Marieke


Best alum from Burlington High School

·        Tie between Cindy Cavett and Joe Paule (Go get ‘em grayhounds!!)


Best place to play “blind sand dune bocce”:

·        The beach at mile 118


Best bocce player in camp:

·        Jack “Da Champ” Cavett


Bedtime story that caused the most subsequent nightmares:

·        “Coyote Eats His Anus”


Best commando birthday beaver dance:

·        Margaret Schorn


Person with the best set of tools and toys intended for night-time use:

·        Michael Thomason


Best camp nick-name:

·        Tie between Craig (“fancy toes”) Bohling and Margaret’s nick-name for Jack (“that L.S.”)


Guide you’d most want in camp if there were ever a wild fire:

·        Deanna Sanderson (former hot-shot)


Best biceps on a camper:

·        Lynn Cavett


Best biceps on a guide:

·        Marieke (in a land-slide)


Best thongs:

·        Wendy’s pink flip-flops


And speaking of thongs, best “who-done-it”:

·        The case of Todd’s mysteriously appearing thongs


Most duckie flips:

·        Joe Paule


Most duckie self-rescues:

·        Joe Paule


Person to walk in on Zack the most times while he was on the groover:

·        Genene Kugler


Most jumps off the high cliff (Havasu Canyon):

·        Jack Cavett


Best description of Lava Falls, complete with a little rubber raft and sound effects:

·        Marieke


Most total days in the canyon by a camper (career):

·        Lynn Cavett


Best way to fall asleep:

·        Staring at the Milky Way and shooting stars


Worst way to stay awake:

·        GO BIG RED!!


Best come-back to “GO BIG RED!!”:

·        Chris’ “Better dead than red!!”


Most air-strokes in the paddle boat:

·        Tie between Wendy and Margaret


Best sun burn:

·        Genene’s “pre-cheeks” (see Todd to find out the location of the “pre-cheeks”)


Biggest camp site pack-rat:

·        Nancy Scott


Best sumo samurai moo-moo:

·        Craig Brase


Person who looks best in a Chippendale’s outfit:

·        Kent Wagner


Most dives off the paddle boat slip ‘n’ slide:

·        Jack


Best vodka with lemonade:

·        Tie between strawberry, Citroen, wildberry, raspberry and lime


Activity most likely to result in a lawsuit:


·        Chris’ broken neck

·        Terry’s broken toes

·        Craig’s ripped toe nail

·        Dave’s broken back

§         Paddle boat slip ‘n’ slide


Person most incapable of paddling while talking:


Best “groover boat captain”:


Best on-the-water game (also pretty good in camp):


Best impersonation of someone who actually enjoys being on the water:


Most mutinies:

·        Dave “Captain Bligh” Dill and the paddle boaters


Earliest to bed, yet most tolerant and forgiving:

·        Cavett / Scott party of 6


Best bleeder:

·        Craig Brase


Only person to require a remedial bag packing lesson 8 days into the trip:

·        Zack Bohling


Most diligent dishwashers:

·        Terry & Genene Kugler


Best fiancée:

·        A tight race that ended in a dead heat: Dave and Marieke


Loudest snorer:

·        Tie between Todd, Craig, Craig and Joe


Worst hangover:

·        Todd on Day 9, followed by Todd on Day 8, followed by Todd on Day 7…….


Most unnatural blonde:

·        A tie between certain persons who’s names will go unmentioned


Best custom-made paddle:

·        Dave Dill


Grossest hair after 9 days in 120-degree heat without a single bath or shampoo:

·        Zack Bohling


Awards for best assistant:

Best back-flips off the edge of the raft: (sorry, Scott)

Best water purifier pumper: (sorry, Scott)

Best “tats” and body-piercings: (sorry, Scott)

Best ass: (sorry, Scott)

·        It’s Kelsey Wogan in a sweep!


Best, most laid-back but effective leader; best at herding cats; the “coolest bad-ass”; the most caring; the most knowledgeable; a Renaissance man; best braids; best at showing respect for the land and its people; the best early-morning groover groomer; and a man extremely comfortable in his own Chaco’s:

·        Pat Phillips


Top 12 Favorite, Most Memorable People and Events


12. The guides


11. Sleeping under the shooting stars and Milky Way galaxy


10. Team toe-nail painting


9. Conch shell blowing and great food


8. Butt dam and the water wall of destruction


7. Paddle boat slip ‘n’ slide


6. En masse rock climbing using ropes and stemming


5. The March of Death, including Wendy’s mega-slide and Craig’s flayed arm


4. The Duckie (Terry in the duckie, Wendy in the duckie, Joe in the duckie, Todd out of the duckie, Max in the duckie……)


3. Drag night


2. Waterfall diving, under-water cavern, cliff jumping, beautiful blue pools of Havasu Canyon


1. Paddle boating through Lava Falls and other big water



Addendum by Chris Krauss


Best place to spend the 4th of July:

·        On the Colorado River watching pinwheels of fire


Best people to spend 6, 8 or 14 days with:

·    Katrina, Caile, Erin, Dave, Scott, Annie, Kristen, Richard, Cindy, Mike, Jane, Amanda, Don, Elizabeth, Jenn, Kristian, Elena, Michael, Terry, Genene, Todd, Wendy, Zach, Craig, Andria, Margaret, Tami, Craig, Joe, Lynn, Cindy, Max, Jack, Bob, Nancy, Pat, Dave, Marieke, Kelly, Kent, Deanna, Kelsey and Scott