Grand Canyon Trip Awards Ceremony

Monday, July 16, 2007

Best pre-trip planning and preparation event:

• Todd & Wendy’s vodka-and-lemonade tasting party

Best practical joke:

• Can X’s list of recommended gear and clothing, then watching all the suckers who actually lugged all that stuff down Bright Angel Trail

Best place to see elk at 4:00am:

• The lawn of the El Tovar Hotel on the South Rim

Best indoctrination to life on the river:

• Accidentally discovering why two umbrellas are propped up behind the rafts

Winner of the “I can’t believe I made it down Bright Angel Trail” award:

• Bob Scott

Best hair style for a life on the river:

• “Klaus Von Wagner”

Best conch blower:

• Marieke Taney

Best imitation of blowing the conch:

• Chris Krauss relieving a little internal pressure

Highest rate of words-per-minute:

• Wendy Bohling (setting a new canyon record)

Leaving the most underwear dangling from a tree:

·        Todd Bohing

Most envied campers by their peers:

·        Chris Krauss and Michael Thomason (for doing the entire canyon trip)

Best place to get your head and shoulders pounded by a waterfall:

·        Tie between Shinumo Falls and Deer Creek Falls

Only guide to attend the same college as my mother:

·        Kelly VanDenBerg (Central College in Pella, Iowa)

Best “I’m OK” signal while drowning:

·        Todd Bohling (on “Butt Sucker” Rapids)

Always the last to eat and the last to finish:

·        Michael Thomason (“Mr. Last Call”)

The “Golden Anvil” award (for heaviest bag):

·        Chris Krauss (who wins the award even after moving half his stuff into his bed bag)

Most well-behaved teenager and best big brother:

·        Max Cavett

Best (i.e, worst) socks:

·        Todd Bohling

Most patient baby sitter:

·        Andria Bohling (for baby sitting both Zack and her father for the entire trip)

Best groover location:

·        Ledges (with the water spray and the sound of trickling water to help with the concentration, which was definitely needed due to the excellent view of the bathing area)

Best place to see the moon come out in the evening:

·        Wherever Joe Paule was bathing (also winner of Most Catcalls)

Best impersonation of a minnow on a slab:

·        Tami Bohling (on the “paddle boat slip ‘n’ slide”)

Only person to earn an ‘F’ in the category of “playing well with others”:

·        Wendy Bohling (for misbehaving in the paddle boat)

Best Dutch last name:

·        VanDenBerg

Best Dutch first name:

·        Marieke

Best alum from Burlington High School

·        Tie between Cindy Cavett and Joe Paule (Go get ‘em grayhounds!!)

Best place to play “blind sand dune bocce”:

·        The beach at mile 118

Best bocce player in camp:

·        Jack “Da Champ” Cavett

Bedtime story that caused the most subsequent nightmares:

·        “Coyote Eats His Anus”

Best commando birthday beaver dance:

·        Margaret Schorn

Person with the best set of tools and toys intended for night-time use:

·        Michael Thomason

Best camp nick-name:

·        Tie between Craig (“fancy toes”) Bohling and Margaret’s nick-name for Jack (“that L.S.”)

Guide you’d most want in camp if there were ever a wild fire:

·        Deanna Sanderson (former hot-shot)

Best biceps on a camper:

·        Lynn Cavett

Best biceps on a guide:

·        Marieke (in a land-slide)

Best thongs:

·        Wendy’s pink flip-flops

And speaking of thongs, best “who-done-it”:

·        The case of Todd’s mysteriously appearing thongs

Most duckie flips:

·        Joe Paule

Most duckie self-rescues:

·        Joe Paule

Person to walk in on Zack the most times while he was on the groover:

·        Genene Kugler

Most jumps off the high cliff (Havasu Canyon):

·        Jack Cavett

Best description of Lava Falls, complete with a little rubber raft and sound effects:

·        Marieke

Most total days in the canyon by a camper (career):

·        Lynn Cavett

Best way to fall asleep:

·        Staring at the Milky Way and shooting stars

Worst way to stay awake:

·        GO BIG RED!!

Best come-back to “GO BIG RED!!”:

·        Chris’ “Better dead than red!!”

Most air-strokes in the paddle boat:

·        Tie between Wendy and Margaret

Best sun burn:

·        Genene’s “pre-cheeks” (see Todd to find out the location of the “pre-cheeks”)

Biggest camp site pack-rat:

·        Nancy Scott

Best sumo samurai moo-moo:

·        Craig Brase

Person who looks best in a Chippendale’s outfit:

·        Kent Wagner

Most dives off the paddle boat slip ‘n’ slide:

·        Jack

Best vodka with lemonade:

·        Tie between strawberry, Citroen, wildberry, raspberry and lime

Activity most likely to result in a lawsuit:

Hint:

·        Chris’ broken neck

·        Terry’s broken toes

·        Craig’s ripped toe nail

·        Dave’s broken back

§         Paddle boat slip ‘n’ slide

Person most incapable of paddling while talking:

• Wendy

Best “groover boat captain”:

• Kelly

Best on-the-water game (also pretty good in camp):

• A truth, a truth, and a lie

Best impersonation of someone who actually enjoys being on the water:

• Genene

Most mutinies:

·        Dave “Captain Bligh” Dill and the paddle boaters

Earliest to bed, yet most tolerant and forgiving:

·        Cavett / Scott party of 6

Best bleeder:

·        Craig Brase

Only person to require a remedial bag packing lesson 8 days into the trip:

·        Zack Bohling

Most diligent dishwashers:

·        Terry & Genene Kugler

Best fiancée:

·        A tight race that ended in a dead heat: Dave and Marieke

Loudest snorer:

·        Tie between Todd, Craig, Craig and Joe

Worst hangover:

·        Todd on Day 9, followed by Todd on Day 8, followed by Todd on Day 7…….

Most unnatural blonde:

·        A tie between certain persons who’s names will go unmentioned

Best custom-made paddle:

·        Dave Dill

Grossest hair after 9 days in 120-degree heat without a single bath or shampoo:

·        Zack Bohling

Awards for best assistant:

Best back-flips off the edge of the raft: (sorry, Scott)

Best water purifier pumper: (sorry, Scott)

Best “tats” and body-piercings: (sorry, Scott)

Best ass: (sorry, Scott)

·        It’s Kelsey Wogan in a sweep!

Best, most laid-back but effective leader; best at herding cats; the “coolest bad-ass”; the most caring; the most knowledgeable; a Renaissance man; best braids; best at showing respect for the land and its people; the best early-morning groover groomer; and a man extremely comfortable in his own Chaco’s:

·        Pat Phillips

Top 12 Favorite, Most Memorable People and Events

12. The guides

11. Sleeping under the shooting stars and Milky Way galaxy

10. Team toe-nail painting

9. Conch shell blowing and great food

8. Butt dam and the water wall of destruction

7. Paddle boat slip ‘n’ slide

6. En masse rock climbing using ropes and stemming

5. The March of Death, including Wendy’s mega-slide and Craig’s flayed arm

4. The Duckie (Terry in the duckie, Wendy in the duckie, Joe in the duckie, Todd out of the duckie, Max in the duckie……)

3. Drag night

2. Waterfall diving, under-water cavern, cliff jumping, beautiful blue pools of Havasu Canyon

1. Paddle boating through Lava Falls and other big water

Addendum by Chris Krauss

Best place to spend the 4th of July:

·        On the Colorado River watching pinwheels of fire

Best people to spend 6, 8 or 14 days with:

·    Katrina, Caile, Erin, Dave, Scott, Annie, Kristen, Richard, Cindy, Mike, Jane, Amanda, Don, Elizabeth, Jenn, Kristian, Elena, Michael, Terry, Genene, Todd, Wendy, Zach, Craig, Andria, Margaret, Tami, Craig, Joe, Lynn, Cindy, Max, Jack, Bob, Nancy, Pat, Dave, Marieke, Kelly, Kent, Deanna, Kelsey and Scott